his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
