Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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