Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
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I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
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idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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