I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
