office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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