I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
