That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
