Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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