There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize