I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
