Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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