Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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