just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize