I can't watch pbs sober anymore
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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