You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
