I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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