No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
