I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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