Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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