She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
