it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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