So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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