Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
