one two three fourrrrnication!
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
