So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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