I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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