i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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