Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
did you just send me my own nude
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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