im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
