Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
pop tarts are not kleenex
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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