She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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