the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
