Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
