Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
