The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
