I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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