He is such a slut. More and more my type.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
