um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
