Farmville is her only friend.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Randomize
