Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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