I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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