Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
