That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
