forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
