What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
