i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
