And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
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