Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
