Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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