Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
