After last night, I could never be a politician.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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