What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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