My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I enjoy the company of your penis
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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