I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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