hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My bed smells like the plague
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
