dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
