i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
