bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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