oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
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