I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
