Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So much Jack, so little girl.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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