Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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