and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
