I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
