god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
